Monday, September 22, 2008

i feel sad today. it creeped up on me and now i'm writing about it. it's not really the sort of thing i would prefer to blog about. unless of course, i had a really great socially acceptable reason- like a death or a big loss of some kind. but i'm pretty sure i'm just sad about a lot of the same old things that one gets sad about.

i want to throw myself into a project, but i sort of have two projects already started. it's just that one of them often involves being alone (embroidery, television) and the other has been put on hiatus for several months and there's not much i can do until Sinbad finishes the script (film production, acting).

This spring/summer I went pretty boy crazy and i'm in a period of reflection now. Mainly I'm reflecting on the fact that i'm not too keen on the whole casual sex thing these days. I've been doing it for over a year now, and it's becoming tired. Relationships scare me more of course. But in the end, they're way more worth it.

September is coming to a close and october is gonna be jampacked already:

Pop Montreal vacation (i took the time off of work) + Puces pop volounteering
Thanksgiving in Ottawa with actual family
Extended hallowe'en weekend in NYC

I think maybe if I turn on the heat in my room prematurely I might start to feel better. Maybe.

Friday, September 12, 2008

i'm going to toronto

last minute deal. the cottage thing didn't work on account of the rain (thanks, gustav?) and possibly other stuff. it'll probably rain in toronto too, but at least i can get away and see people i don't get to see that much. i gotta pack real quick cause meyer is picking me up in 40 minutes.

p.s. i don't think crush boy #1 is gonna work out. he's in the mode post horrible breakup where you don't want to even think about romance or girls or sex. bad timing or what?

p.p.s. i've decided that watching grey's anatomy has made me heal my romantical side, and i will no longer hide it! i want romance.

there. that wasn't so bad.

Thursday, September 4, 2008

i have a crush

a big one. the kind that makes you excited about the future. the kind that gives you a good feeling all over, and you're not forcing anything. it hasn't been easy. but i decided to stick to it even when it seemed clear it was going nowhere.

anyways, after a few setbacks and disappointments, i found a bit of light at the end of the tunnel- giving me a huge sigh of relief- i knew my intuition hadn't gotten shotty! nothing is set in stone and it's advancing at a snail's pace but i just have too good a feeling about this guy and i feel like exceptions need to be made in his case.

friendships have gotten a lot better too in the last couple months, making montreal seem rosy again.

i also bit the bullet and started watching grey's anatomy. i couldn't help it- it's like chicken noodle soup only without all the excess sodium. i assumed it would be shitty dumbed down trying to be clever crap, and it still sort of is, but a couple of episodes bring out the tearsit', and i'm a cancer so naturally i love it. it's regular tv season now too so i don't have to hide my obsession as much.
tv watching parties become the social norm as soon as it gets colder. which it's not. getting colder i mean. tomorrow it's supposed to go up to 31 degrees, not including humidex.

the radical change in temperature took it's toll on my lungs and i'm having trouble breathing. i didn't go to work today because it got so bad. which conveniently brings me back to the phonecall i had with my crush this evening. when i told him i wouldn't have a doctor's appointment until october 21st and that i was too stubborn to wait in a hospital for 4 hours to get a puffer he offered to take me to the pharmacy to take one of his refills. how sweet is that?